The day begins with Pirate Bert's release from Lincoln Station after two weeks held there under current anti-Pirate Fan measures introduced by the local county council.

 His continued freedom is however brought into doubt as Doncaster General Manager, Mr Neil Holmes asks to see his release papers.

 Close by, Jeremy Clarkson (taking time off from filming at the Custom Car Show at Donny Race Course) shares his extensive knowledge of rugby with visiting fans.

 Rod meanwhile in a pre match interview with WMN's Mark Stevens, vents his fury and names names for this Monday's 'exclusive'.

 Pitchside and the Two Ronnies get into the match day atmosphere, drinks stacking up behind them.

 The local currency is a source of amusement.

 Nick wonders if cowpie gum was a good idea so soon to kick off much to the amusement of a local

 Which only adds to drawing fans' attention to the tunnel...

 The players run out as members of the Arrowz dance troupe turn away to defend their pom poms to the last as Janner is rumoured to be close by.

 Jeff bridges Tom at the next breakdown with support close to hand.

 Which throws everyone else out of kilter in a frantic search for something resembling a ball.

 Mr Richards decides to halt proceedings and calls Pirate skipper Gulliver to discuss the matter, oblivious to the real culprit in the top right of the picture.

 Jimmy looks pleased with his strong arm resolution to the stolen ball problem, as Rugby Times' Jon Newcombe texts the news back to the office.

 The status quo doesn't last as the fire alarms sound....

 The new West Stand is evacuated....

 Which requires a hasty check round the back by the site manager...

 Players and spectators gather at the Fire Point for a head count...

 The all clear is finally given which allows Whatters to chat with the press.

 "Kill Them" he instructs

 After the break Devs easily out paces List in the race to see who can knock over Albinson

 Rhodders gets the glory on the scoresheet, but Devs is the real man of the moment.

 Later on and it is Cook who is overseeing a little 'earth moving' by the Pirates forwards.

 Tom helps the old man Iva back to his feet

 While Nick receives attention after failing to plug a gushing cut with his discarded gum

 The crowd gasp as the atmosphere takes on the blood curdling eeriness of Hammer horror movie set

 Luke gurns in defiance while Rainsey supports a feinting Brett.

 Rhodders wanders across the pitch in a state of the living dead...

 Only to reveal it was dare set up by Capn Orange. Didn't they chuckle afterwards?!

 Cookie though is distraught that the bouncy castle has been deflated

 While Radio Dreckly take extra precautions with the post match interview with Mark

 Ady looks P-O'd

 And no wonder as Pop once more takes centre stage. Zelah Maid maintains posture well..

 To take his mind off things, Cookie gets to grips with his vessels rigging as everyone prepares for the voyage home

 Sam gives the thumbs up as Robin delivers the fluffy pillow for his comfort

 Bertrand is the picture of calm in a sea of chaos as Burak lets off a stonker in the second van

 Heino restores some order but is perplexed as to whether he will fit in.

 With way too much artistic licence, Iva re-enacts his try scoring feat as he side steps St Piran and others before diving dramatically over the imaginery line

 Blazey puts a stop to that nonesense, having used a combination of physique, guile and a newly grown goatee to subdue the cheeky flanker

 "Me? The 13th Earl of Leicester...being let loose in the Press Gang dorm', with my reputation? They must be mad!"

 Having taken delivery of his first hot meal in days, Cookie shows his appreciation to Doncaster's Meal on Wheels service.

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