By Alan MacLeod
June 20 2005

“Could do better Mr Schumacher, Mr Schumacher, Barrichello, Montoya, Button…… “Yebut, Nobut, Yebut, Yebut it wasn’t my fault! It was those stuuuupid BAR people who can’t make cars that work…….properly. Honest really!”

Mr Webber?   Well, I was expecting more things from you. What have you got to say for yourself? Apart from Sorry!............

 

Now Giancarlo, as you know we all had such high hopes for you and we all felt that all you needed was a bit of a chance and then everyone would love you. What happened after Australia child?

 

Jacques! Go and stand in the corner.

 

Fernando, Kimi, David, Jarno, and Nick, come out to the front of the class I’ve got some gold stars for you.  Oh and I have a special star for one of our youngest pupils who has made the most progress in class. Sit down Felippe!……Stupid boy!.... Yes Christian, that’s you. Come on up.”

 

Post Brazil 2004, there were some ripe, juicy prospects for 2005.

Jenson in a Ferrari-beating BAR. A bit of healthy “competitive tension” at McLaren, with JPM widely expected to run Kimi close or even shade him.  Fisichella finally getting a car capable of winning regularly, to the excitement of all the “He’s the most underrated driver in F1” club. Webber in a competitive car would surely show he’s not just a one lap wonder. Ditto Trulli, to a lesser extent, at the rapidly emerging Gascoyne driven Toyota team. Ralf, on the other hand, raised some cynical smiles re his ability to deliver a return on what was reported to be the second biggest package (and I’m talking money here) in the F1 community. Respec’ Mr Webber! You could sell deep freezers at the North Pole.

 

 Oh yes, what about Villeneuve? After minimal car or track experience in 2004, nobody really expected him to set the world on fire in a difficult Renault in the last few races of the season. Being so far off the pace was just a blip before becoming a full time Sauber driver. Wasn’t it?

 

Then there was the “losers club.” Coulthard, Heidfeld, Panis and almost everyone at Jaguar, Jordan and Minardi looked to have limited shelf life. CK hadn’t caught the eye by any means either, but was nevertheless expected to retain whatever seat remained after the dust had settled on the Jaguar debacle. Most were expected to struggle to find a drive or to retire disgracefully. Thankfully DC and Heidfeld did find a drive and CK as expected got another chance.

 

Ferrari? Expect more Sunday afternoon power-naps for us all.

 

Well!........ Wry smiles all round from the bookies. Form is doing a headstand.

 

So what will Ron, Frank, Flavio, Nick, Peter and Ross be thinking about their hard fought and highly paid-for driver investments now? At least one of them must be wondering why they didn’t take a closer look at DC. I’m not convinced the highly rated Montoya is as close to Kimi as DC would have been, and there are at least two other teams that would probably have been nearer to the top of the class with DC on board. Anyway, their loss is RBR’s gain and I think RBR realise that keeping him on-board for at least another year will help their transition to Ferrari engines and with bringing up the babies. The RBR story this year has been kind of heart warming. Not the kind of thing you would typically expect in the world of F1. I expected RBR to struggle more in recent races, before the Cosworth upgrade arrived, but now with an extra available 30 odd BHP imminently available they look less likely to slip to bottom of the class. Heres hoping!