For Sure Championship: Webber finally joins in


By Phil Huff
July 12 2009

Fresh from winning the German Grand Prix, Mark Webber made a valiant effort to improve his position in the RealBrawnGP.com For Sure World Championship 2009, using the mandated phrase no less than five times in the winners press conference.

However, Webber let himself down after qualifying, by failing to say 'for sure' once. The post-qualifying press conference simulations run at Red Bull had the desired effect though, with Australian rising from last place to a respectable 11th.

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Championship leader Felipe Massa disappointed his fans following the race, refusing to mutter 'for sure' to any of the assembled media. He drops from a For Sure Per Event rating of 4.00 to just 3.00, only 0.31 ahead of arch rival Jenson Button. It seems that everything is going right for Button at the moment, but the same isn't true for team mate Rubens Barrichello, who failed to get a single 'for sure' over the entire weekend, despite having ample opportunity.

Soon to be F1-exile Sebastien Bourdais will take some consolation from his position in the championship. Unlike his F1 car, he's mastered the dark art of 'for sure', sitting in an impressive fourth place overall.

"There's clear evidence that Brawn GP have become complacent, assuming their on track performance will somehow aid them in this more important championship," said F1 language consultant Elaine Conedoff. "While the gap to Massa has closed, that's due to Ferrari's failure to capitalise on their lead, rather than Brawn's innovation."

F1's language standards adjudicator, Major Nameup, is slightly more impressed with results than of late. "We have been acutely aware of the efforts Jenson Button was going to undermine our efforts to outlaw the use of the words 'for' and 'sure' when placed together unnecessarily in a sentence, but recent developments suggest he isn't putting in the effort required to continue its use. We are, however, disappointed to see Mark Webber was prepared to make use of the phrase in order to further his on-track career. We shall be watching him closely, as this cannot continue as it is. At the end of the day, I draw the curtains."

FIA Formula One Drivers World Championship 2009
Pos   Driver Team Events For Sure FS/Ev*
1   Massa Ferrari 3 9 3.00
2   Button Brawn GP 16 43 2.69
3   Hamilton McLaren 4 8 2.00
4   Bourdais Toro Rosso 2 3 1.50
5   Alonso Renault 3 4 1.33
6   Raikkonen Ferrari 4 5 1.25
7   Piquet Renault 1 1 1.00
8   Heidfeld BMW Sauber 3 2 0.67
9   Buemi Toro Rosso 2 1 0.50
-   Sutil Force India 2 1 0.50
11   Webber Red Bull 10 5 0.50
12   Vettel Red Bull 16 8 0.50
13   Kubica BMW Sauber 3 1 0.33
-   Rosberg Williams 3 1 0.33
15   Barrichello Brawn GP 11 3 0.27
16   Trulli Toyota 5 1 0.20
17   Fisichella Force India 1 0 0.00
-   Nakajima Williams 1 0 0.00
19   Kovalainen McLaren 2 0 0.00
20   Glock Toyota 4 0 0.00

* The RealBrawnGP.com For Sure Championship monitors the official FIA press conferences. The Thursday, Friday, Qualifying and Race conferences from each Grand Prix weekend are counted, but only for driver appearances. An 'event' is defined as one such press conference, and the total usage of 'for sure' over the season will be divided by the total number of events a driver has participated in to produce a For Sure per Event figure. In the event of a draw, the driver with the least 'events' will take the lead, they having been given fewer opportunities to use the vital phrase.

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